Bite Me...!!!!

I have come to a realization that as much as I love you, you are still hurt by what I did 5 years ago. Because every single time we talk you lash out at me, finding fault with every single thing I say, even when I say something nice. 

The last straw came when u accused me of liking caucasians more than asians. "Do I have to be white to open cab doors for a friend?"

Understand this, I open my own doors, I buy my own things. I am not biased. I don't care if you're white, black, blue, brown, yellow. Just because I went to New Zealand to study, just because I have ang moh friends, does not mean I prefer them over asians. It is never about color. 

So stop wallowing in self pity and wake up. You have your parents and sister that loves you more than anything in the world and yet you choose to self destruct yourself by drinking. 

It didn't occur to me what was happening, but now I realized what's been going on and I cannot let you hurt me anymore. If I happen to date a white guy, its because I like him for him, not cos he's white. If I happen to date a jock, its because we have sports in common, not because he's a jock and I want/aspire to be a WAG.

Get your head out of your ass because as much as there's a whole lot of people out there wanting you to fail, there are those who actually love you unconditionally and want you to succeed.

Sort your shit out. 

So please check your txts before you sent them out?

Contradicting much munchkin??

Am up North in camp with the ProSport boys. I'm loving every minute cept when somebody hit me on the head this morning and when Naisa woke me up at bloody 5am. Nobody wakes me up at 5am. Deathwish issit?

The view is stunning up here. I swear, you can just sit and stare at the mountains and seas for hours. Theres so much to look at and marvel at. God is all powerful when he created all of us. I felt so small when I was standing at the top of the cliff over looking everything.

Boys were at a Kura today. We were invited and since singing is huge part of the polynesian culture, the boys helped ruth aiken and graham henry thank the Kura for inviting them.

Training wise, they were brilliant today. Absolutely brilliant. pressure was on and they did what they had to do. Only problem was them focusing in class. Granted being up North here, with so many distractions and pretty girls and awesome view is not a conducive environtment, they did good. got through the nutrition unit standard with little hindrance.

I'm just loving it up here. The view, the air, the simplicity of it all.

And being up here just made me feel small and insignificant. In a good way. The world does not revolve around me and no matter how hard I try sometimes, I am bound to fail simply because some things are beyond my control and I should be prepared for that.

And before I forget,


Allahu Akbar.

I’m going to tell you guys something that I’ve never told anyone.

 

Rugby is not my first love.

 

Hahahaha.

 

It is one of my passions and it is one of my loves, but extreme sports captured my attention way before rugby came into the picture. X Games, Tony Hawk Skatepark Tour, Tony Hawk Boom Boom Huckjam, surfing. Those were my first love. Granted I never did any of those sports, but the fact that the athletes push themselves to no end was something I’ve always admired and truth be told, I kinda live my life vicariously through them.

 

Andy Irons, Kelly Slater, Tony Hawk, Dave Mirra, Travis Pastrana, Tommy Clowers, Ronnie Renner, Ronnie Faisst, Mike Occhilupo, Mick Fanning, Buck Lasek, Jason Ellis, Bob Burnquist and Shaun White, just to name a few. I really loved watching them surf, skate, ride the bike and stuff and it never got old. Like I could watch them over and over and over again without getting bored. I actually ordered Tony Hawk’s Skatepark Tour for 3 seasons, as well as his Boom Boom Huckjam Tour. Shaun White was just a Little Flying Tomato who got hassled on tour. Jason Ellis and Mike V smashing their bodies just to achieve a trick. Bucky Lasek being Bucky, Tony Hawk doing the 900. I remembered being in awe of Sal Masekela, thinking that he has the awesomest job in the world. And I still think he has. I also remembered the feeling of trepidation when Travis attempted the double backflip as well as the 720 on his bike. I don’t know the guy, but he sure as hell did scare the living shit out of me everytime he gets on the bike.

 

Baseball came in close second. Its funny how I got into baseball. I heard of the Yankees, Yahoo searched it (Yahoo was the IN thing at that point and I had the really really old dialup connection circa 1995) and saw a picture of Derek Jeter. Thought he was cute and been rooting the Yankees eversince, without fail. I love baseball. It’s the only thing I can watch for more than 3hrs without complaining that its too long. 9 innings is crazy. The first 7 innings are usually really quick and the last two are the ones that kills you. The 2000 Subway Series. Roger Clemens vs Mike Piazza. Al Leiter almost winning it for the Mets. Luis Sojo double that clinched it for the Yankees. Bernie Williams, Paul O’Neill, Tino Martinez, Chuck Knoblauch, Scott Brocious, watching them live at Yankee Stadium in the Bronx. My first All Star Game with Cal Ripken, The Yankees – Athletics game where Derek made THE catch. I’m actually smilling to myself thinking bout all these stuffs.

 

And then rugby came and took over. Don’t get me wrong. I love rugby. I love everything about it. The camaraderie, the aggression, the manliness, the men in short shorts and how rugby has helped me channel my anger the right way. I loved it. Just not the snooty nosed WAGS who think they’re all that and the politics that comes with it. I don’t know why I love the game. The good looking guys are just bonuses, but the game itself, knowing and reading the game. Its just something different. Plus most, if not all rugby players can back themselves up as opposed to soccer players. I mean come on. The diving in soccer?? They should win an Oscar.

 

Andy Irons death in early November has “re-ignited my passion” for extreme sports. I don’t know Andy Irons personally. But I do know that he pushes himself to no end. I remembered watching him and Kelly Slater on tv and he broke his board by head butting it cos he lost to Slater in the finals. Everyone called him nuts. I thought if I was in the same situation, I’d do the same. Kelly’s been dominating for more than a decade and I would’ve loved to win against him. The guy was in his early 30’s, his wife was due to give birth in a months time, and he was at the top of his game and he died because of dengue fever. I was studying for my exams and I kinda took the news badly. Maybe its because of the fact that I never really grieved the loss of my grandmother, but I did cry. Here is a guy, at his peak, expecting his first born and he’s gone just like that. Seeing guys like Freddy P, Bruce Irons, Mick Fanning crying, it was just too painful.

 

Nitro Circus with Travis Pastrana, Special Greg, Andy Bell Erick Roner, Streetbike Tommy, Jim DeChamp, Jolene Van Vugt made me fall in love with exteme sports all over again. The look on Travis’ face when he nailed a stunt, the ribbing, the “this is not going to end well” looks on the producers. It just reminded me of Tony Hawk’s skatepark tour all over again. The fact that I had a crush on Travis for the longest time does help.  And it has now come to a point that I actually think Andy Bell is cute. What the hell?? I enjoyed the 2 seasons of Nitro Circus, from them having jumping off a cliff into the waters Jamaica, Travis’ dad hurting himself really badly in Panama, Streetbike Tommy on the bike and totally missing the foam pit, Eric Roner’s tramp stamp, Andy Bell beating Travis twice, once in the tricycle backflip and another at drifting, Travis being a sookie bubba having to concede defeat and the man himself jumping off a cliff and was unable to open his parachute on time and ended up crashing with cacti in his butt. Yes, I do live my life vicariously through them.

 

Which got me thinking. Should I stay in my comfort zone and just continue working with rugby and sports in New Zealand and back in Singapore, or should I just fuck everything and actually go and work in the States working with the best athletes? That’s the question I’m gonna have to answer at the end of this year.

 

On a side note. Played my first game of touch for 2011 and I carved up today. Awesome stuff, got praises from everyone. KickbackNinja strikes early in 2011…!!!

 

 

Was clearing and sorting out my emails today and came upon heaps and heaps of old emails that made me smile. Some from Sarah Huijie, some from Cliffy, from Moso, from Alex. Just old ones that I re-read and which made me cringe spastically cos I was so kental to the max. Hahahahaha. Awesome kan....??

And then I came upon heaps and heaps of uni application emails. A whole bunch from Australia and from Otago and Canterbury. Tasmania, Newcastle, Wollongong, Canterbury and Otago accepted me. God knows why I picked Auckland?? Oh yea, thats right, Auckland Blues, Eden Park. But Iʻm not complaining. Its been an awesome ride.

In Singapore, I didnʻt have much to look forward to. Pretty much when I got a C for math in O levels, I pretty much knew I was screwed if I were to stay in Singapore. Working in the outdoors like a dog with minimal pay was not what I wanted in life. Sure, it was a fun ride, working, bossing kids around, but I never really knew what I was capable of until I got here. And even now, I still donʻt know what Iʻm capable of.


The grass is not always greener on the other side. I know this. But it sure is a hell lot of fun over here.


Whole day meetings which starts at 8am at Eden Park tomorrow.


And I just found out today Kaoo has never watched Little Man until tonight.
Yes, the Wayans Brothers Little Man.

A bit on the side

Either, you are the bit on the side and he is with you for the sex, or, he has someone else on the side and therefore doesn’t want to commit to either. It could be that he doesn’t know what or who he wants and therefore strings the two along. It’s easier for him than to make a decision, his friends give him the ‘player’ status, and commitment is futile.


My sentiments exactly.